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Archive for September, 2008

Woman of no talents

I used to be an extremely competitive person. I prided myself on my writing and reading repetoire, I wasn’t pretty, I didn’t have a lot of friends, I was lazier than all get out, but I had read more books than anyone I had ever met and I always got great grades on my papers. So if someone got a higher score than me or I met someone that had read a book I hadn’t, I just had to find some way to one up them. Thankfully, that is the person I used to be. God has completely changed me from the cynical, bitter, ridiculous person of my high school years. Anyway, I’ve come to realize that I’m really not good at anything.

I don’t have any talents. I’m not a great singer, I’m not athletic, I’m lazy, I don’t read as quick or as efficiently as I like people to think I do, my papers are pieces of crap, I can’t remember simple spanish anymore, organization has never been my hobby…the list goes on. Whereas all my friends are musicians or business people or soon to be doctors or already out in the real world using their talents, I’m here with no real talent to save my life. Not that I’m a complete failure or something, I can sing without breaking windows, I can play a game of volleyball or soccer or whatever without embarrassing myself, I still read a lot, I still remember some spanish and a lot of the grammar rules, and God has taught me to be organized enough to function. I feel like I could be really good at any one of these things if I put all my time and energy into it and so its been frustrating to me that there are always people better…I feel like I could be that amazing basketball player or that girl that sings and plays all those instruments.

But I’m realizing thats not what God called me to be. He doesn’t want me focusing on one aspect of my abilities because that would limit my ministry. If I had stuck with basketball in 8th grade, pushed through and really honed my skills than I would be on the basketball team at some school hanging out with the basketball kids. If I had joined choir in high school like I wanted to and continued piano lessons than I would hang out with the music kids. God’s made me with such a uniquely diverse personality type and He’s given me such a broad range of spiritual gifts (really God? did you really have to give me 6 spiritual gifts?) because He wants me ministering to and reaching people from all kinds of backrounds. All my struggles can be related to so many struggles that others have dealt with or are dealing with. My personality type allows me to connect with so many different kinds of people and my mediocre “talents” allow me to hang out and socialize with just about anyone!

So I accept my sometimes off key singing and my limited basketball skills and my horrible papers. Because there’s a reason for all this and it’s not my reason and it’s not your reason and thats all I need to know.

So what spiritual gifts has God given me? It’s a laundry list let me tell ya, and I was skeptical at first because I’ve never heard of someone having 6 spiritual gifts. But after reading about them and looking at them next to my personality types (out of 4 I have 3) and they all fit perfectly. I guess I can’t tell God what He can and cannot do, right? Anyway, God gave me the gifts of Faith, Mercy, Discernment, Administration, Prophecy, and Wisdom.

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