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Archive for July, 2008

It’s time

It’s time for healing time to move on
It’s time to fix what’s been broken too long
Time make right what has been wrong
It’s time to find my way to where I belong
There’s a wave that’s crashing over me
And all I can do is surrender

(Chorus)
Whatever You’re doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but somehow there’s peace
It’s hard to surrender to what I can’t see
but I’m giving in to something Heavenly

Time for a milestone
Time to begin again
Reevaluate who I really am
Am I doing everything to follow Your will
Or just climbing aimlessly over these hills
So show me what it is You want from me
I give everything I surrender…
To…

(Chorus)

Time to face up
Clean this old house
Time to breathe in and let everything out
That I’ve wanted to say for so many years
Time to release all my held back tears

Whatever You’re doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but I believe
You’re up to something bigger than me
Larger than life something Heavenly

Whatever You’re doing inside of me
It feels like chaos but now I can see
This something bigger than me
Larger than life something Heavenly
Something Heavenly

It’s time to face up
Clean this old house
Time breathe in and let everything out

This song sums up where I’m at right now perfectly. As most know, I am in counseling right now one hour a week with good ole Teresa. I went in with 2 things in mind and uncovered a whole truckload of other issues I didn’t realize I had swept under the rug. Kinda like an elephant in the room that I hid behind a lamp and lived like it wasn’t there. Anyway, I’m pushing and struggling through a lot of messy things right now and to get through it I do need support from all my friends. But most of all I need understanding, because I’m needing to draw back from a lot of you and I want y’all to understand that it’s not that I don’t love you or value or friendship, I just need to put all my time and energy into the most important Friendship.

So I apologize now for the way I might have acted in the recent past towards anyone. I don’t mean to be short or rude or unattentive, I just have a lot of things on my mind right now. In the future, understand that sometimes I’m just going to be like that but also don’t be afraid to alert me to myself…I probably don’t even realize that I’m hurting those around me.

If you’re my friend or even if you just read this for the heck of it, pray for me. I’m not talking “God protect Sarah” kind of prayers, I need on-your-face, intense prayers. If you can’t give that, then put your time and energy into something else. I love y’all, don’t let me lose you as a friend!

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“Although a single woman may long for the ‘chaos’ of a family, she must not waste her time wishing for it. She must be diligent to use her single time wisely now. She has more control over her time and choices now than she ever will again.”  – Lady in Waiting, pg 25.

“An unmarried woman has something that a married woman gives up on her wedding day: extra time for Jesus.” – Lady in Waiting, pg 30.

Reading through this book, I’ve realized how much time I’m wasting! I’ve spent so much time trying to learn the correct way to approach dating, imagining what my husband will be like, learning basic skills that I’ll need as a wife, that I’ve completely neglected the time God has given me! Yes, these are not necessarily bad things but they quickly become sinful when my entire focus is on these things and not on God!

This whole time I’ve been preparing for marriage and it never crossed my mind that I should enjoy my time now as a single woman. It’s something that’s not expected in our society, you are not supposed to be satisfied “alone”. I thought I had accepted my singleness but rather I had accepted that I wasn’t married YET. I still acted as if I were married and centered all my actions and decisions based as if I were married or going to be married soon.

But God wants me using this time He’s given me for Him! When I am married, I won’t have all this down time that I enjoy right now. I’ll be cooking, cleaning, loving my husband, what have you. And to think that I waste my time for God by watching TV for hours or going out and seeking companionship every second of every single day, whether I’m out actually with people or I’m on Facebook chat waiting for someone interesting to log on.

I think part of my motivation to work so hard towards marriage was because I didn’t have faith that God would bring me who I wanted. I could imagine all kinds of men God could hook me up with and I didn’t like any of the versions in my head. I began to see my future husband as a duty, an obligation, that he would be undesirable to me but I would have to learn to desire and love him because he was who God chose for me. So I thought if I studied really hard and prepared myself like a good future wife should, maybe that would be enough to earn me a husband who wasn’t 2 feet tall or had a huge nose or lazy qualities. How completely backwards was my thinking!

Those who stay single “have not numbed their longing to be married; instead they have embraced their Lord so tightly that they face their prolonged singleness with peace, not bitterness.”  – Lady in Waiting, pg 47.

I’m embracing my Lord as tightly as my little human arms can.

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The challenges we face now are no more difficult or any different than challenges we’ve faced and overcome before. As a baby, we had to learn to talk and to walk and at the time, these two things were huge mountains before us. The mountain seemed impossible and at first we really struggled. We fell down a lot, we gurgled and babbled for weeks before we made any coherent sense. But now, walking and talking are second nature. We don’t have to think about it, it just happens. The same is true for any challenges you are facing right now. You will move past them and it will become as easy as breathing.

Society today does not challenge us very much. What challenges they do put before us are fairly elementary and not hard to accomplish. So when we do accomplish them, we figure we’re set and so we halt our progress because we’ve passed requirements. Our culture expects us to survive, not thrive. Society’s expectations are at 4 ft, but our personal best might be 10 ft. Naturally we may be at 5 or 6 ft, so we don’t see the need to exert ourselves…we’re already better than most right? God is not glorified in our mediocrity, in our acceptance of the good instead of the great.

What does it take to push ourselves to God’s best for us?

  1. Get serious about fighting sin!
    1. You can choose wrong and easy or right and hard.
  2. Battle discouragement and complacency
    1. Failing at something is not reason to be discouraged. Someone who has never failed has never tried and has cowered away from the hard things. Growth cannot happen without failures along the way.
    2. Just because you succeed at something, don’t lay back and relax! Don’t be content with one success here and there, look for what you can do better or for the next challenge God has for you.
  3. Strive for what is above and beyond what is expected or required
    1. Relaxing while you wait for a battle and then trying to fight that battle is disastrous. All the way up unto the battle you should be preparing yourself so that when the battle comes you are completely ready and trained to take on the enemy.
  4. Get over your fear of failure
    1. Embrace failures. They represent trying, effort, and commitment to the end. Try again after failure. Multiple failures in an area may be needed to learn enough to finally succeed.
    2. The world is watching us. They expect us to fail and then to turn away, to try something else. Imagine the impact we will have on the lost if we hit the wall of failure, pick ourselves back up and try again and again and again until we succeed. How much glory does that bring to God ?!
  5. Understand differences
    1. Not everyone has the same strengths and weaknesses, everyone has different personalities and different callings from God. Don’t look to others to learn what you should do or what you’re personal best looks like. It is not a bad thing if Suzie Q. has more skill at befriending people than you do. Focus on your gifts and ways that you can improve them for the glory of God.
  6. Do small things
    1. God calls us to the big things but also to the little things. Those that can obey God and follow him in the little things can be trusted with the big. Sometimes it’s the small things that are the hardest to follow through with. My personal small things are following traffic laws (such as not running red lights and stop signs, driving the speed limit, etc) and also being a friend to people even when I don’t want to (answering the phone even though I know they will want to talk for an hour and I really don’t feel like it).
  7. Your best life is not the easiest
    1. God promises us an awesome life if we follow His plan. But he doesn’t promise that it will be easy, in fact the life He calls us to is probably the least easy of all our choices. But the fact that He calls us to it means that we can overcome all obstacles and succeed with Him by our side.

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All through history when a child reached the age of physical maturity, they were considered an adult. They were expected to talk like an adult, act like an adult, and think like an adult. Children were prepared for this transition starting as early as 9 years old. Now we have a concept called “teenager” and “kidult”. These concepts consider people adults when they are 18, 20, 25, or basically whenever they decide they want to be. Children are not prepared to jump into adulthood, rather parents back off and prepare themselves for the “horrible teens”. Teenagers are expected to be rebellious, lazy, useless, irresponsible, destructive, and amount to nothing. It’s a limbo period between child and adult, where a teen has the body of an adult but still conducts itself in childish activities. This concept wasn’t recognized until the 1940’s and has only become a normal occurrence in the last 70 years or so.

Now we have whole industries that cater to this “goof off” period. Technology has allowed us to be even lazier with all kinds of useless tv shows, youtube videos, and myspace pictures available at our fingertips. When child labor laws were passed and high school attendance became a requirement for all teens, we became consumers instead of producers. And that consumer mentality has turned into a kind of drug, with teens not wanting to lose their slack off, have fun lifestyle which results in “kidults”, adults aged 20 or older who still live with their parents, don’t have a job, just party and generally act 10 years or more younger than they really are.

Society expects teens to be immature. It expects us to finish high school and probably go to college. It expects us to experiment with sex and drugs in high school and to go crazy with both in college. It expects us to drive badly, to jump from job to job, to have a horrible relationship with our parents, to engage in all kinds of ridiculous activities.

“Brothers, stop thinking like children. In regard to evil be infants, but in your thinking be adults.”

1 Corinthians 14:20

“Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith, and in purity.”

1 Timothy 4:12

God calls us to not only rise above today’s standards but to be EXAMPLES. We’re supposed to be pushing the bar up for the rest of our peers, for the older Christians, for our families, for our church. If God calls us to this, we have that potential. We can do it. It’s not something that others are called to, it’s not something that only a few people are extraordinary enough to do, we are called.

Adolescence is supposed to be the launching pad into the rest of our adult lives. We are to use these years to be equipping ourselves with the knowledge and skills we will need to survive in the real world. Are we doing that? Or are we more concerned with social activities, whether Joe Bob likes me, what major to choose, etc? God is calling you to be a difference in the world. Are we settling for what society says is accomplishment or are we pushing ourselves to the limit because we know God’s idea of accomplishment will blow us away?

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